Why go back to Malawi?

Friends - There is no written sermon this week.  Instead I used the time and the text to explain our church's return mission trip to Malawi Africa.  If you are interested you can listen to the sermon here:

http://www.warrensburgfirstpresbyterian.org/PASTOR-MESSAGE.html

Doing it All

September 20^th, 2015       “Doing It All”       Rev. Heather Jepsen

Proverbs 31:10-31 with Mark 9:30-37

          When I saw that the Proverbs 31 woman was the lectionary reading for this week I just couldn’t ignore it.  It is so rare to have a lectionary reading from Proverbs, or one featuring a woman, that it seemed like an opportunity not to be missed.  Of course, the passage is basically a minefield and when one commentary I read said, “The best that a preacher may do with this chosen reading is to avoid it,” I knew I just had to come up with a sermon somehow!

          There are a lot of problems with the Proverbs 31 woman.  First of all, she is obviously some sort of super human.  Like a cross between Martha Stewart and DC Comic’s Superwoman, the Proverbs 31 woman gets it all done and looks good doing it.  She gets up before the sun and burns the midnight oil.  She feeds everyone, and clothes everyone, and has a lush garden, and works business ventures, and does a lot of charity work, and always says the right thing, and makes her husband look good.  She is amazing.

          That’s just the problem.  The Proverbs 31 woman is so amazing that she is unreal.  Unfortunately that hasn’t stopped many a gal from trying to achieve such greatness.  I remember when I was young in my faith and I read a devotional book on the Proverbs 31 woman.  Broken down chapter by chapter, this book was a guide as to how a good wife could accomplish all these tasks, without stress, and of course, stay under the guard of her husband while doing all these things.  Do it all, but don’t get noticed, the implicit message was.  You do the work, and he rightfully gets the credit.  Not my cup of tea.

          Throughout the years this text has been interpreted in many ways and they all have a tendency to be problematic.  Some of course do see this as a formula for a perfect wife, a goal that all women should strive to attain.  Others have said this is an early feminist narrative; that this is the vision of a working woman in ancient times.  Maybe.  It definitely looks like the lives of a lot of working mothers who end up doing everything around the house while the also working outside the home.  One commentary I looked at this week even suggested Dolly Parton’s “Working 9 to 5” as a hymn!  I don’t think that’s in our hymnal.

          There are two interpretations of this text that I resonate with.  One is that this is a personification of wisdom.  The book of Proverbs opens with a contrasting dialogue between Wisdom and Folly which are both portrayed as women.  It seems to make sense then that the book would close with a return to woman Wisdom, the one who manages to get it all done and have a model life of faith.  Verse 30 seems to support this view stating, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

          The other interpretation that I like is that this is actually the picture of a lifetime.  If this is an image of all that a faithful person may accomplish over the sum of their years then it seems like a less exhausting to do list.  What if the whole of who we are adds up to these things?  That doesn’t seem so impossible.

          This text is a dangerous one because women do have such a tendency to try to do it all, and compare ourselves to each other as we do it.  I am sure that none of us here have the super human skills of the Proverbs 31 woman, but we are certainly paying attention to how our skills measure up with others.  Back in the day a lot of a woman’s worth was measured in how nice her house looked and what kind of parties she could host.  These days the competition seems to have moved to Pinterest, Facebook, and in person chats about how amazing the children are.  The competition is out there and it is cut-throat.  We do a great job of trying to out-do each other when it comes to mothering and parenting in general.

          While I am not very competitive on the parenting scene, many of you here could certainly testify as to my guilt in trying to do too much.  I might not be the Proverbs 31 woman, but I am certainly trying to be the do-it-all Pastor.  Like that joke that goes around the internet, I am trying to be the Perfect Pastor that works from 8am to midnight and spends lots of quality time with her kids.  The Perfect Pastor that makes a modest salary of $500 a week and always dresses nice and drives a nice car and gives away $500 a week to charity.  You know, the Pastor that makes 20 visits a day and is always in the office when needed.  That Pastor, that’s the one I’m trying to be.

          It’s easy to laugh about but you would be surprised how many different directions this job can pull you.  Just this week I was driving in my car halfway between a meeting at the church and a hospital visit and the phone rang.  I didn’t recognize the number but thought it might be news about one of our parishioners so I answered anyway.  Foreign voice, strange number, and immediately I knew I didn’t want to take the call.   In the car over the speakerphone the lady asked, “Is Heather Jepsen there?” and I yelled back, “I’m not here!” which was totally funny, but was also totally true.  I wasn’t there, I still had half my energy back at the church and the rest of me was shifting into the hospital visit.  Even though I answered the phone, I wasn’t there at all.  I was doing too much!

          Many of us here have a similar problem.  We are trying to do too much, and we are trying to be like the Proverbs 31 woman.  And worse, we are judging ourselves based on what we do.  Somehow we have equated our worth as a person with the output of our productivity.  That doesn’t seem right does it, but we do it all the time.  I am a good mother, pastor, whatever because of the things that I do.  That’s a dangerous path.

          Our reading from the gospel of Mark is an interesting conversation partner with the Proverbs 31 woman.  As Jesus and the disciples walk down the road, the disciples begin to argue amongst themselves about who is the greatest.  Like women picking their children up from daycare, the disciples are busy sizing each other up.  Who is the best, who is the greatest, who is worthy of being the leader?  Jesus points out that the greatest is the least, and that they should aspire to be servants.  Lest the disciples mistake this for another lesson on work equals worth, Jesus brings a little child into their midst.  This is the one to emulate he says, this is the one to welcome.  He places the child among the ranks of the disciples, making the child equal with the disciples.  And then Jesus gathers the child into his arms.

          The child is the one who is worthy, and how much work does the child do?  Very little, and that’s if you are lucky.  The child is not the Proverbs 31 woman, the child is not up from dawn to dusk working all day, and the child does not produce amazing sermons and visit everyone at the same time.  The child does none of those things.  Instead, the child lives in the world in wonder, the child welcomes others as equals, the child intuitively responds to Jesus, and the child is the one that Jesus loves.  This is not worth based on work; this is worth based on nothing more than simple existence.  The child is, therefore the child is of value.  If only we could see ourselves in this light!

          Our readings for today are a good reminder that even though many of us are busy, that we shouldn’t let our busyness define us, and we certainly shouldn’t let it determine our worth.  Like the disciples, we needn’t be standing around trying to determine which one of us works the hardest and which one of us is the best.  Though, like the Proverbs 31 woman, we may have a lot of tasks to accomplish each day, we certainly don’t have to do them all at once.  Personally, I am going to try to slow down this week and be more intentional.  I don’t want to find myself yelling, “I’m not here!” again anytime soon. 

          So, to all the other over-achievers out there, I would council us to take a break.  Stop trying so hard, stop working so hard, and stop equating who you are with what you do.  Because who we are isn’t defined by what we do, it is defined by who we are.  Who we are, are the beloved children of our loving God.  We are those that are loved, we are those that are valued, we, all of us, are those that are special and wanted and needed.  We are those that God loves.  God doesn’t want Proverbs 31 women, God wants children who are open and trusting and full of wonder.  God wants us.  Thanks be to God.  Amen.

Who is Jesus?

September 13^th, 2015          “Who is Jesus?”         Rev. Heather Jepsen

Mark 8:27-38

          “Who is Jesus Christ?”  For centuries we have struggled with that question.  Was Jesus a healer?  Was he a miracle worker?  Was he a magician and a shaman?  Was he a spiritual leader?  Was he a church outcast?  Was he the Jewish Messiah?  Was he the Son of God?  Was he God?  Was he even real, or was he just a figment of our collective imagination?  Who was, who is, Jesus?

          It appears from today’s reading that during his own lifetime people didn’t know who Jesus was.  “Who do people say that I am?” he asks the disciples as they walk down the road.  Some say he is John the Baptist, which doesn’t seem to make sense chronologically.  Some say he is Elijah, a figure whose return was promised in Jewish eschatology.  Some say he is a prophet, come to lead the people of Jerusalem.  I am going to wager that some also said, “Who is Jesus?  I don’t know!”

          “Who do you say that I am?” Jesus asks, probing his disciples for their opinion on the matter.  “The Messiah!” or “The Christ!” is Peter’s swift response.  Though it appears to be the right answer, we will soon discover that what Peter means by Messiah and what Jesus means by it are two very different things.

          Jesus tells everyone to keep the volume down and then begins to share the real news of the day.  He begins to tell the disciples about the path that lies ahead.  They are on their way to undergo great suffering.  The Messiah will be rejected by the leaders, the Messiah will be killed, and the Messiah will then rise again. 

          Peter is totally confused at this point.  Everyone knew that the Messiah was to come back with military power and overthrow the terrible Roman Empire.  Jesus’ plan is not the Messiah plan and Peter tells Jesus so.  Of course Jesus turns Peter right around with his harsh rebuke, “Get behind me Satan!”  Peter is thinking of the human Messiah, Jesus is thinking of the divine Messiah, and the two are not the same thing.

          In case anyone missed the point Jesus now moves into teacher mode.  If any want to be Jesus’ disciples then they must follow him.  And if you are going to follow Jesus, then that means you need to go where he goes.  It is a painful path of blood, violence, death, and love.  It is a path which leads to the cross.  Jesus makes things clear.  Deny yourself, give up your own life, and follow me into death he seems to say.  For only in death will you find a life that is worth living.  It was a hard lesson for those disciples and it is still a hard lesson for us today. 

          So, who is Jesus?  “Who do people say that I am?” he continues to ask.  There are a lot of answers out in the world today.  Kim Davis in Kentucky certainly has an answer to that question and I am going to guess that she and I disagree on some pretty major points.  Jesus used to play a big role in politics, although it appears today that he along with everyone else has taken a back seat to Donald Trump.  Pope Francis is also someone who has an answer to the question, “Who is Jesus?” and the Jesus that he sees is one that I think I see some days as well.

          Like Peter, I think we are afraid of a Messiah that suffers.  We want to worship the victor, not the loser.  We want success to be the promise of our faith, not suffering and death.  There are plenty of preachers out there that will tell you that following Jesus will lead to health and wealth.  Jesus doesn’t say that.  Jesus says that following him will lead to suffering, suffering and death.

          You might have heard the story last year about the “Homeless Jesus” sculpture in North Carolina.  It is a life size bronze sculpture of a figure asleep on a park bench covered by a blanket.  The only sign that the figure is meant to be Jesus are the nail scarred feet peeking out from under the edge of the blanket.  The artwork is controversial and immediately people’s answer to the question “Who is Jesus?” became clear. 

          Neighbors wrote letters to the church and to the newspaper saying the sculpture didn’t belong.  One man said, “My complaint is not about the art-worthiness or the meaning behind the sculpture.  It is about people driving into our beautiful, reasonably upscale neighborhood and seeing an ugly homeless person sleeping on a park bench.”  Another community member said, “Jesus is not a vagrant, Jesus is not a helpless person who needs our help.”  And still another, “We need someone who is capable of meeting our needs, not someone who is also needy.”

          “Who is Jesus?”  The answer for some is clearly not someone who needs help.  Just like Peter, we don’t want a Messiah who suffers.  Though the Son of Man may have nowhere to lay his head, we don’t want to think about him having to lay it on a park bench somewhere.  That just doesn’t feel right.  If Jesus needs help, then who will help us?  I am sure Peter thought the same thing, “If Jesus gets killed, then what’s going to happen to us?”

          As much as we hate this part of the story, the answer to the question, “Who is Jesus?” seems fairly clear in the scriptures.  Peter says Jesus is the Messiah and then Mark tells us that Jesus began to teach them.  “He began to teach them that the Son of Man must undergo great suffering, and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again.”  “Who is Jesus?”  Jesus is the one who suffers, who dies, and then who overcomes suffering and death.  That’s Jesus.

          This morning we are coming forward for communion.  When we gather here at the table we answer the question “Who is Jesus?”  We remember that even as he knew the time of suffering was imminent, Jesus invited friends to celebrate with him.  He invited his friends to dinner, and he shared himself with them.  And he tried to explain about how he was sharing himself with the whole world. 

          We gather together and we remember the story.  We say the Great Prayer of Thanksgiving which reminds us of not only “Who is Jesus” but also “Who is God.”  We remember that God is the one who created the heavens and the earth.  We tell the story of God who created us in love and continually reaches out to us in love, even though we turn away; even though we constantly long for the path of success and not the path of suffering. 

          We remember that God sent Jesus as a sign of love.  And we remember that Jesus died.  We remember that that’s who the Messiah is, the one who suffers and dies so that we too can suffer and die.  The Messiah is also the one who lives again, so that we too, if we can follow the path of suffering, will also follow the path of life.

          There is a lot of heartache in our church today, and there is a lot of heartache in the world.  To quote a famous saying in the Jepsen household, “Jesus is in that!”  Jesus is with us when we choose to follow the path of self-denial, when we take up our crosses, and when we willingly face suffering on behalf of others.  Jesus is in us, when we attempt to live lives of faith that are self-emptying, giving away our very hearts for others.  Jesus is in us when we suffer, willingly or not, simply because the Messiah is the one who suffers.

          So, “Who is Jesus?”  Well, I see him everywhere.  I see Jesus in Kirk Pedersen as his body struggles to live and as his brain struggles to make connections.  I see Jesus in Jill as she carries the weight of this family crises and wakes up ready to move forward and tackle each day as it comes.  I see Jesus in the members of this church, who have picked up and moved on in the wake of the death of a spouse.  I see Jesus in members who are diagnosed with cancer, who see that road of suffering before them and take those first steps forward anyway.  I see Jesus in our people, as we go through life trying to offer care for each other, trying to share our hearts in his name.

          “Who is Jesus?”  He is the toddler on the beach in Turkey and the police officer who lifted his body from the water.  He is the fathers carrying their children for miles looking for new homes, and the fathers who seek to run an orderly intake system and struggle to know what to do with all the refugees.  Jesus is the mother who sends her son to walk across the border from Mexico, praying the child will survive to meet loved ones on the other side.  Jesus is the child born in this country, whose parents have been deported and who now is threatened with deportation as well.  Jesus is the ones who suffer, Jesus is the ones who need, for “the Son of Man must undergo great suffering, be rejected, and be killed.”

          Though it is a scary message at first, and we all have the same gut response as Peter, “That’s not my Messiah”, eventually we realize the wisdom of the truth.  “For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for the sake of the gospel will save it.”  Those of us who have walked that path know its depths and riches.  We know the blessing of willingly sharing in the suffering of others.  We know the blessing of giving of ourselves in love.  We have lost our lives, and we have found them, and there can be no other way. 

          Like Peter, I think we sometimes miss the end of what Jesus says.  We get distracted by the part about suffering and death and we miss the end of the story where the Messiah rises again.  We forget the promise of new life on the other side.  Just this week I had a great sermon illustration happen to me.  If the weather permits, I get up early each day and take our dog Candie for a walk on the trail by our house.  Each morning it has been a little darker and this Thursday it was quite dark.  Candie and I got out on the street and headed west into a totally black sky.  There was a huge black cloud and it did not look like a good direction for walking.  But I stepped into the darkness anyway, thinking the worst that could happen was rain and then we would turn around and come home.  I was also busy telling myself this was just like the sermon I was writing and that we need to step out into that dark path sometimes. 

          Well, we walked our half mile to the west and unbeknownst to me the sun was slowly rising behind us in the east.  As Candie and I turned around at the end of the trail, the sky in the east was glorious.  It was a wonderful display of blues and yellows, red and pinks.  It was a holy moment and even other people on the trail felt the need to stop and mention how lovely it was.  This is like my sermon I thought, we move into darkness and then we move out of it into light and beauty.  As Candie and I reached home I turned around to look back, to see if the sky to the west was still dark.  It was still dark and there was still a large black cloud, but I, I kid you not, there was a giant rainbow over the path into the darkness.  All I could say was “Wow!  Thanks God.” 

          And that’s all I have to say today, thanks be to God for Jesus Christ who walks with us on the dark path of suffering, traveling under unseen rainbows, and leading us to the sunrise of new life on the other side.  Amen.  

Surviving on Crumbs

September 6^th, 2015        “Surviving on Crumbs”       Rev. Heather Jepsen

Mark 7:24-30

          When I was first encountering Jesus and getting to know him as presented in the Scriptures I loved the Jesus of the Gospel of John.  In John’s Gospel Jesus is cosmic, he is powerful, he has secret knowledge, and he seems to glow with holiness.  The Jesus in the Gospel of John is like a super hero Jesus. 

          The longer I live in the world and the more time I spend working in ministry, I am surprised to say that I have fallen in love with the Jesus of the Gospel of Mark.  The Jesus in Mark’s Gospel is not a super hero.  In fact, he is a bit of an anti-hero and this morning’s reading is a perfect example of that.

          Our reading picks up right where we left off last week.  Jesus has fed some people, and he has healed some people, and he has taught some people.  In last week’s reading, Jesus helped the Pharisees and the disciples understand that it is what lies within our hearts that makes us clean or unclean.  It is the sins of our hearts that separate us from God.

          Now, Jesus is tired, and Mark tells us that he has gone away to hide.  He travels outside of Jewish territory into a predominantly Gentile region.  He enters a house and Mark makes it clear that Jesus did not want anybody to know he was there.  He is trying to hide, he is trying to rest, and he is trying to take a well-deserved break. 

          But, Jesus can’t get a break.  Jesus can’t get away from the needs of the people and it is not long before a woman enters the house, asking him to do something.  One more person, with one more need, and she is a foreigner to boot.  She throws herself at his feet and begs for the life of her daughter who seems to be possessed by a demon.  In a most un-Jesus-like fashion, the tired Jesus lashes out at this person in deep need.  He snaps at her saying “Let the children be fed first, for it is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.”  Ah yes, the Son of God using a racial slur, this is not the Jesus we expect.

          So what is happening here?  It should come as no surprise that throughout the centuries commentators have attempted to soften this image of Jesus.  Some scholars have said that Jesus was faking it.  He was just being inhospitable to try to throw the woman off and test her faith.  Others have said that Jesus was just joking.  Even though dog was a common derogatory term used for those of Syrophoenician decent, Jesus was simply calling her a puppy and he meant it to be cute. 

          You can explain Jesus’ words any way you want to, but frankly, I like this Jesus.  I think he said it and I think he meant it.  I think Jesus was suffering from physical and mental exhaustion, and he was just tired of seeing people.  I think he had had enough.  He was trying to get away, he was trying to take a break, he was trying to hide, and in comes one more person asking for one more thing.  We talk about Jesus being fully human and fully divine, but as soon as his humanity shows we want to explain it away.  I think this was Jesus’ humanity.  He was annoyed and he told her so.

          Surprisingly the woman is not fazed.  She snaps right back at him.  “Sir, even the dogs under the table eat the children’s crumbs.”  Now I imagine Jesus sees her.  I think before, when she came in begging, she was just one more person asking for one more miracle, and he was too tired to deal with it.  But now, he looks up, and he really sees her.  He sees her wit, her faith, her determination, and her desire to have her daughter healed.  “For saying that, you may go – the demon has left your daughter” he says, granting her the miracle she requests.

          This is one of my favorite stories in all of the Scriptures.  I love this woman.  I love her wit, and her strength.  I love her determination, and her unwillingness to take “no” for an answer.  I love that she accepts this insult and turns it around.  I love that she talks back to Jesus.  And I love that she gets what she wants.  It may not be the world, it may not be the glories that God has reserved for the Jews, but it is enough for her.  She is happy to survive on crumbs, if that is what she is going to get.

          I also love Jesus in this story.  I love that he is real and human.  I love that he is in a place where I sometimes find myself; tired and worn, hoping that the phone won’t ring, hoping for a quiet night at home, hoping for a chance to rest and recharge.  I love that he says something he shouldn’t, because we all do that when we are tired and have had a long day.  I love that this Jesus seems real to me. 

          Just like the woman, at this point I think Jesus is surviving on crumbs.  There has been no break, there has been no chance of rest, there has been nothing for days but the throng of needy people, the scorn of the Pharisees, and the foolishness of the disciples.  I think he is suffering from compassion fatigue, a condition common among individuals who work with those who have suffered trauma conditions.  Compassion fatigue often manifests as a lessening of compassion over time.  I don’t think that is a stretch for the fully human Son of God, for surely being among humanity is to witness trauma a hundred fold.  Jesus is exhausted, he is running on empty, he is surviving on crumbs.

          I am going to go so far this morning as to suggest that the Syrophoenician woman speaks to Jesus with the voice of God.  I don’t think that’s too much of a stretch.  We talk all the time about God speaking to us through the voices of those around us.  Why can’t that have happened to Jesus?  Why can’t God have used the words of this woman to wake Jesus up from his stupor?  Why can’t God use this moment to shock Jesus out of compassion fatigue?

          Through the voice of the Syrophoenician woman, God is telling Jesus about the abundance of grace and healing that is available.  God is saying that the gifts that God is presenting through the life of Jesus Christ aren’t simply for the Jews, aren’t simply for the chosen children of God, but are for all the people of the world.  Even when the only things that Jesus has left to share are crumbs that will be enough.  What if God is saying that there is enough for everyone?  What if God is saying that crumbs are enough?

          I love this story of Jesus because we find ourselves here so often in our lives.  Sometimes we are the woman and we are so desperately in need.  Our hearts are broken by the suffering of a loved one and we ask for anything from God.  We will gladly take crumbs if crumbs are what is available.  In the midst of crises, we know how to survive on crumbs.

          And sometimes we are like Jesus in this story.  We are so tired of giving and doing and sharing.  We just want to be left alone for one minute and then the nominating committee calls and asks us to be on a committee again.  Or it’s that one family member or friend that always needs help and always calls at the most inconvenient time and it is all we can do not to snap at them and tell them to go away.  Go away, we want to say, leave me alone.  All I have right now are crumbs.

          And God intervenes, and God challenges us to share our crumbs.  God challenges us to dig even deeper.  When all it seems that we have are crumbs, if we are willing to share, then there will be enough.  Like Jesus, we have to be awakened to our capacity to keep going, keep giving, and keep sharing in the community of faith.

          I think there is an abundance available to us if we are willing to share what little time and energy we have.  A few days before this story, Jesus was standing around with a crowd and the people were hungry.  5 loaves were broken and shared among thousands of people and 12 baskets of pieces were left over.  12 baskets of crumbs.  If another crowd had come upon them that day I am certain there would have been enough bread.  They could have survived on the crumbs.

          As we move through life today, I encourage you to take the twin lessons from this story.  I know that this is a sad and difficult time in the life of the church.  There are those among us that are in crises and we feel the reverberations of that throughout this community.  People today are surviving on crumbs of faith.  It is not a lot, but it is enough.

          I also know that there are those among us today who are tired and burnt out.  We feel we have done enough work for the church and we are ready for a well-deserved break.  I would remind us that even if we feel like we have nothing but crumbs left, that crumbs are enough to share.  God will provide, and will craft even tired and worn people into a Session, into a board of Trustees, into leadership for this church community and more.  We can survive on crumbs.

          May God bless us this morning with the things that we need.  May we have the energy and faith to get through difficult and scary times.  And may we have the willingness to share what we have, even if we only have crumbs, with those around us.  May we experience abundance and generosity together even as we survive on crumbs.  Amen.