Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Musings of One in the Wilderness


December 8th, 2013   “Musings of One in the Wilderness”   Rev. Heather Jepsen
Matthew 3:1-12 with Isaiah 11:1-10
          For some reason, I am feeling the tension between the consumerist Christmas and the call of Advent particularly strongly this year.  Perhaps it was the accepted move of Black Friday onto Thanksgiving Thursday, and suddenly what once was a quiet time at home with family, has become an opportunity to push someone out of the way as we reach for a flat screen TV.  Or perhaps it was because Thanksgiving was so late this year; as if we turned around and suddenly we were already behind on all the shopping, wrapping, decorating, and baking involved in Christmas preparations.  Or perhaps it is simply that I am getting older, and losing touch with that holiday madness that seems to consume us as children.  Whatever the reason; today I am feeling like I am occupying two opposite worlds at the same time.
          On the one hand, I have one foot firmly planted in the land of traditional American Christmas.  I have to tell you, I love Christmas.  Christmas is my favorite time of the year.  I can’t wait to bust out the Christmas CDs and get out the decorations.  Heck, we put up our outside lights on a really warm weekend in early November.  And all the inside decorations promptly came out the day after Thanksgiving. 
          I love all the preparations for the holiday.  I love shopping.  I feel blessed to have the financial resources to shop for family and friends.  I love buying toys for my kids.  Wrapping presents while the music from the Nutcracker plays in the background is one of my favorite things to do. 
          I also love all the extra time in the kitchen.  Cooking is fun for me and this is a great time of year.  With all the special things I make only at Christmas, from crab puff snacks to special Christmas Day egg casserole this is a great time.  This year in particular I am busy planning extra cookies and things so I can send a care package to my own parents in time for the holidays.  Mom is not well enough for baking this year and I would hate for Dad to miss out on all the holiday treats.
          A lot of clergy parents my age have asked me about Santa, do we celebrate him in my house, and I say of course.  We didn’t start going to church until I was in high school so Santa was a very big deal to me growing up.  That was the only story we told this time of year and the magic of Christmas was very real in my house.  In fact in 8th grade I sent a letter to Santa telling him how much I believed in him.  Imagine my surprise as that year the 8th graders at my school were writing Santa reply letters in English class, and my letter showed up there.  Awkward!  In continuation of my own family tradition, I hold the Santa Christmas story alongside the story we celebrate here in church.
          Of course the story we tell here in church during this time of year is a deeper, more profound, more real story than any tale of Santa or the spirit of giving at Christmas.  I have one foot firmly planted in the outside world, and one foot planted here, in the story of the church.  And this year it is a story I am longing to tell.  And a story I am longing to hear.
          More than ever, I am craving a safe space to come and celebrate my faith.  I am craving quiet time, I am craving rest, I am craving reflection, and I am craving meaning.  This Christmas, I want something more.  John the Baptist wants that too.  The voice of one crying in the wilderness, calling people to prepare the way of the Lord,
          John the Baptist has always been a bit of an outsider this time of year.  While the story of Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus seems to make its way into the secular celebrations, John the Baptist is always left on the pages of the Bible.  You won’t find any inflatable John the Baptist yard art with glowing camel’s hair robe and jumping animatronic locusts.  And you won’t find any Christmas cards bearing his tidings of “Tis the Season to Repent”.  John the Baptist is as unwelcome in our time as he was in his own.
         And yet, people were drawn to his message.  People streamed out of the cities, people traveled in from the countryside; Matthew tells us that from the whole surrounding area people gathered to hear the alternative message that John was preaching.  People were longing for something more.  They were longing to hear that the world was not OK, and that they themselves were not OK.  People were longing to confess their sins, to be baptized, to start anew, and to prepare their hearts for the one coming in fire.
          Are we so different?  I don’t think so.  In our modern churches today we shy away from language of sin and repentance.  Those terms so often used as a club to beat down those among us who were different, have now become completely rejected.  That’s too bad.  While guilt and shame have no place in the church, language of repentance and change should.  We all know sin, and we all see it in our own lives.  We need to acknowledge and admit our own brokenness, if we are to receive the gift of love that Christ offers.
          This time of year, when things are all happy clappy, holly jolly, merry Christmas, and ho ho ho; I am longing for something more.  I am longing for a message with some real meat on its bones.  Sure it’s a great story, the sweet babe in the manger, and Santa and gifts, but is that who we really are?  Is that the only story there is?  Because sometimes when we all smile at each other in the check-out line, I feel like it’s a sham.
          This holiday season I want more.  I want John the Baptist, calling me to repent.  I want him yelling at the religious authorities, calling it all a lie, and pointing out that the emperor has no clothes on.  I want to be baptized by the Holy Spirit and fire.  I want to feel something real.  I want to be changed.  I want the Christ to come with his winnowing fork in his hand, to burn away the chaff of my life and make me right and whole again.  I want Christmas to matter, and not just be about some sickly sweet treacle of a story.  I don’t just want a birth, I want a resurrection.
          The words of the prophet Isaiah are all about resurrection.  A shoot shall come out from the stump of Jesse, a branch shall grow out of his roots.  New life, new growth, hope springing forth like a green tendril from a dead end.  All that was broken and wrong, all that was hardened and burned, all that was put away in sorrow and shame; now redeemed by new life.  A shoot, from a stump.
          I want that story this Christmas.  I want new life and resurrection.  I want God to touch all the burned out dead places of my heart and call them to send forth shoots, call them to reach out in new growth, call them to look to the sun and a new day.  I want more than a flat screen TV, I want the touch of God in my life.
          I don’t think I am the only person here who feels this way, and that’s why we came here today isn’t it.  I mean, there is so much to do to prepare for Christmas, who can afford the time to come to church?  I ask who can afford not to?
          There are a lot of chances this season to come here, to visit this sanctuary, and to seek that other message.  Come on Tuesday nights for Taize, sit in silence with God and others, prepare your heart for the repentance that John the Baptist calls us to.  Come on Sunday, to hear the true message of Christmas from the choir and from our youth.  Let us experience this joy together and hear the story from new voices.  Come on Christmas Eve, to celebrate the birth of the baby in the manger, the shoot from the stump of Jesse, the beginning of new life and the promise of resurrection.
          When we gather in a few short weeks on Christmas Eve, and we sing our favorite songs, and we hear the story again, that is my favorite night of the year.  Visit that moment with me in your mind.  As we light the candles and we pass the flame to each other, as we sing Silent Night, and we look into each other’s smiling faces, I get tears in my eyes.  I cry.  Because it is the most beautiful and the most real thing I know.  As much as I love them, I don’t need Christmas Trees, and presents, and Santa.  No.  I need you, the church, and all the promise and love and joy and resurrection that we believe in and that we are.  That is what this season is about.  Amen.

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