Proverbs
31:10-31 with Mark 9:30-37
When I saw that the Proverbs 31 woman
was the lectionary reading for this week I just couldn’t ignore it. It is so rare to have a lectionary reading
from Proverbs, or one featuring a woman, that it seemed like an opportunity not
to be missed. Of course, the passage is
basically a minefield and when one commentary I read said, “The best that a
preacher may do with this chosen reading is to avoid it,” I knew I just had to
come up with a sermon somehow!
There are a lot of problems with the
Proverbs 31 woman. First of all, she is
obviously some sort of super human. Like
a cross between Martha Stewart and DC Comic’s Superwoman, the Proverbs 31 woman
gets it all done and looks good doing it.
She gets up before the sun and burns the midnight oil. She feeds everyone, and clothes everyone, and
has a lush garden, and works business ventures, and does a lot of charity work,
and always says the right thing, and makes her husband look good. She is amazing.
That’s just the problem. The Proverbs 31 woman is so amazing that she
is unreal. Unfortunately that hasn’t
stopped many a gal from trying to achieve such greatness. I remember when I was young in my faith and I
read a devotional book on the Proverbs 31 woman. Broken down chapter by chapter, this book was
a guide as to how a good wife could accomplish all these tasks, without stress,
and of course, stay under the guard of her husband while doing all these
things. Do it all, but don’t get noticed,
the implicit message was. You do the
work, and he rightfully gets the credit.
Not my cup of tea.
Throughout the years this text has
been interpreted in many ways and they all have a tendency to be
problematic. Some of course do see this
as a formula for a perfect wife, a goal that all women should strive to attain. Others have said this is an early feminist
narrative; that this is the vision of a working woman in ancient times. Maybe.
It definitely looks like the lives of a lot of working mothers who end
up doing everything around the house while the also working outside the
home. One commentary I looked at this
week even suggested Dolly Parton’s “Working 9 to 5” as a hymn! I don’t think that’s in our hymnal.
There are two interpretations of this
text that I resonate with. One is that
this is a personification of wisdom. The
book of Proverbs opens with a contrasting dialogue between Wisdom and Folly
which are both portrayed as women. It
seems to make sense then that the book would close with a return to woman
Wisdom, the one who manages to get it all done and have a model life of faith. Verse 30 seems to support this view stating,
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to
be praised.”
The other interpretation that I like
is that this is actually the picture of a lifetime. If this is an image of all that a faithful
person may accomplish over the sum of their years then it seems like a less
exhausting to do list. What if the whole
of who we are adds up to these things?
That doesn’t seem so impossible.
This text is a dangerous one because
women do have such a tendency to try to do it all, and compare ourselves to
each other as we do it. I am sure that
none of us here have the super human skills of the Proverbs 31 woman, but we
are certainly paying attention to how our skills measure up with others. Back in the day a lot of a woman’s worth was
measured in how nice her house looked and what kind of parties she could
host. These days the competition seems
to have moved to Pinterest, Facebook, and in person chats about how amazing the
children are. The competition is out there
and it is cut-throat. We do a great job of
trying to out-do each other when it comes to mothering and parenting in
general.
While I am not very competitive on the
parenting scene, many of you here could certainly testify as to my guilt in
trying to do too much. I might not be
the Proverbs 31 woman, but I am certainly trying to be the do-it-all
Pastor. Like that joke that goes around
the internet, I am trying to be the Perfect Pastor that works from 8am to
midnight and spends lots of quality time with her kids. The Perfect Pastor that makes a modest salary
of $500 a week and always dresses nice and drives a nice car and gives away
$500 a week to charity. You know, the
Pastor that makes 20 visits a day and is always in the office when needed. That Pastor, that’s the one I’m trying to be.
It’s easy to laugh about but you would
be surprised how many different directions this job can pull you. Just this week I was driving in my car
halfway between a meeting at the church and a hospital visit and the phone
rang. I didn’t recognize the number but
thought it might be news about one of our parishioners so I answered
anyway. Foreign voice, strange number,
and immediately I knew I didn’t want to take the call. In the car over the speakerphone the lady
asked, “Is Heather Jepsen there?” and I yelled back, “I’m not here!” which was
totally funny, but was also totally true.
I wasn’t there, I still had half my energy back at the church and the
rest of me was shifting into the hospital visit. Even though I answered the phone, I wasn’t
there at all. I was doing too much!
Many of us here have a similar
problem. We are trying to do too much, and
we are trying to be like the Proverbs 31 woman.
And worse, we are judging ourselves based on what we do. Somehow we have equated our worth as a person
with the output of our productivity.
That doesn’t seem right does it, but we do it all the time. I am a good mother, pastor, whatever because
of the things that I do. That’s a
dangerous path.
Our reading from the gospel of Mark is
an interesting conversation partner with the Proverbs 31 woman. As Jesus and the disciples walk down the
road, the disciples begin to argue amongst themselves about who is the greatest. Like women picking their children up from
daycare, the disciples are busy sizing each other up. Who is the best, who is the greatest, who is
worthy of being the leader? Jesus points
out that the greatest is the least, and that they should aspire to be
servants. Lest the disciples mistake
this for another lesson on work equals worth, Jesus brings a little child into
their midst. This is the one to emulate
he says, this is the one to welcome. He
places the child among the ranks of the disciples, making the child equal with
the disciples. And then Jesus gathers
the child into his arms.
The child is the one who is worthy,
and how much work does the child do?
Very little, and that’s if you are lucky. The child is not the Proverbs 31 woman, the
child is not up from dawn to dusk working all day, and the child does not
produce amazing sermons and visit everyone at the same time. The child does none of those things. Instead, the child lives in the world in
wonder, the child welcomes others as equals, the child intuitively responds to
Jesus, and the child is the one that Jesus loves. This is not worth based on work; this is
worth based on nothing more than simple existence. The child is,
therefore the child is of value. If only
we could see ourselves in this light!
Our readings for today are a good
reminder that even though many of us are busy, that we shouldn’t let our busyness
define us, and we certainly shouldn’t let it determine our worth. Like the disciples, we needn’t be standing
around trying to determine which one of us works the hardest and which one of
us is the best. Though, like the
Proverbs 31 woman, we may have a lot of tasks to accomplish each day, we
certainly don’t have to do them all at once.
Personally, I am going to try to slow down this week and be more
intentional. I don’t want to find myself
yelling, “I’m not here!” again anytime soon.
So, to all the other over-achievers
out there, I would council us to take a break.
Stop trying so hard, stop working so hard, and stop equating who you are
with what you do. Because who we are
isn’t defined by what we do, it is defined by who we are. Who we are, are the beloved children of our
loving God. We are those that are loved,
we are those that are valued, we, all of us, are those that are special and
wanted and needed. We are those that God
loves. God doesn’t want Proverbs 31
women, God wants children who are open and trusting and full of wonder. God wants us.
Thanks be to God. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment