Faith in the Fog

February 23^rd, 2020      “Faith in the Fog”     Rev. Heather Jepsen

Mark 8:27-9:8

         This morning our narrative lectionary readings continue in the Gospel of Mark.  In the church this is Transfiguration Sunday and today we find ourselves at the midpoint of Mark’s Gospel.  Up to now we have followed Jesus and his disciples throughout the countryside watching Jesus heal and listening to Jesus teach.  Today things shift.  Today Jesus turns his face toward Jerusalem as he begins to talk about his upcoming suffering and death.  This week we learn that Jesus has come to redefine what it is to be the Messiah.

         Most of the sections of today’s reading you are familiar with.  We begin with Peter’s famous declaration of faith.  Jesus walking with his disciples asks after his own reputation, “Who do people say that I am?”  Clearly he is someone special as he is compared to Elijah, John, or another prophet.  Then the test question, “Who do you say that I am?”  This time Peter has the correct answer “You are the Messiah.”

         Peter knows the right answer to the question, but he doesn’t know what this really means.  Jesus begins to teach him and the others that he will need to undergo great suffering, rejection, and death before this whole thing is over.  Peter is taken aback.  That’s not what he meant!  And he tells Jesus so.

         But Jesus will have none of it.  “Get behind me Satan!”  Poor Peter!  I’m sure these words cut him to the core.  As the kids in Henry’s 3^rd grade class would say “Oh, he burned you!  He burned you to the ground!”

         I love Peter here.  Trying so hard.  Trying to be a friend.  He knows what the right answer is and he is confident that “Jesus is the Messiah” but he doesn’t really know what it means to be the Messiah.  And how could he?  How can any of us really?  Jesus accuses Peter of setting his mind on human things and not divine things.  But how can Peter know divine things if he is human?  Can any of us know divine things?  Can any of us know what it is to be the Messiah?  I have my doubts.

         In the next section of our reading, Jesus calls to the crowds as well, and attempts to teach everybody about taking up their cross and losing their life to find it.  This is upside down talk.  Deny yourself to find yourself.  Take up the instrument of death in order to live.  Give everything up and gain it all.  Is it any wonder that people don’t understand?  “The kingdom of God will come in power before some here even taste death.”  What does that even mean?  Is the kingdom here?  All these guys died hundreds of years ago.  Like Peter, I’m confused.

         A whole week passes, which must be significant because Mark rarely records the passage of time.  A whole week passes and Jesus takes Peter, James, and John and they climb a mountain together.  While up there, Jesus begins to glow.  He is transfigured, he is changed, and he shines with the light of his true holiness and splendor.  As if that weren’t strange enough, Peter and the others see Moses and Elijah with Jesus, chatting like it’s any old thing. 

         Peter is in a daze, in a mental fog so to speak and offers to build a tent or two for this awesome party.  Even the gospel writer is embarrassed by Peter and adds in as an aside “He didn’t know what to say because he was so scared”.  And suddenly they are literally in the fog.  A cloud descends and a voice cries out “This is my Son, the Beloved; listen to him!”  And then it’s all over and I’m sure Peter didn’t know what to think, let alone what to say.

         I love these texts about Peter and Jesus because they are such a metaphor for our own life of faith.  So often, like Peter, we are forming our faith in a fog.  Like being on the mountaintop with Jesus, we have a glowing moment where we say “Yes, I see it!  I understand.”  We are confident about who God is and who we are in relationship to God.  And then immediately a cloud descends and we are lost in the fog again wondering if Jesus is even still up on the mountain with us.  Or like Peter, we know the right answer to the question, “Jesus is the Messiah!”  But we don’t really understand what being the Messiah means.  And when we find out about it, we aren’t so sure we want to be part of this after all.  Suffering and death, I didn’t sign up for that!

         The more time I spend in ministry, the more I notice that we like to talk in a code.  We use words like salvation, Bible, Jesus, God, and church and we really do not know what we mean.  Sure, we can expand on these ideas with more church talk but we really have a lot of trouble moving outside that realm.  Or we use the same words to mean different things.

         For example, this week there was a really great Independent Lens movie on PBS about the building of the Ark Experience in Kentucky by the “Answers in Genesis” Organization.  The people working on that project and I are all Christians, and we speak the same language, using the same words, but we don’t mean the same thing.  When I talk about the gospel and when they talk about the gospel we are talking about very different things.  We’re even reading the same book, but we are arriving at totally different conclusions.  Do you see what I mean about using the language but not knowing what we really mean, or using the same words to mean different things? 

         Another example can be found in our Sunday school class.  Right now we are studying Atonement.  What is Atonement?  What did Jesus do on the cross that “saves us”?  We are studying six different theological models that are all totally accepted by the Reformed Church and all have Biblical support.  So what are we talking about when we talk about Atonement?  I’m not sure.  I am confident that something special happened when Jesus died but I am not certain what exactly it was.  I can have faith in atonement without being completely settled on one atonement theory.  The church has been talking about Jesus for over 2000 years and we still have very diverse explanations, expectations, and claims about who Jesus is. 

         Peter thought he knew what he was talking about when he talked about Jesus as the Messiah.  But Jesus was talking about something else.  And Peter thought he knew what he was talking about when he tried to put up some shelters on the mountain and build a church, but that is not why they were there.  In many ways Peter was lost in the fog.  Not for like of trying.  I think just because he was human.  I’m not sure we can really know the divine things with certainty.

         When I read the Scriptures I always find Jesus trying to clear the path.  The way of salvation is this, “give up your life.”  I know it sounds backwards but this does make sense to me.  Move yourself out of the way, move yourself out of the center.  I understand this concept but I don’t want to take it literally, I don’t really want to die.  I will if I have to, but I don’t want to.  If discipleship is an act of faithful self-denial and displaced self-interest, I can do that.  If discipleship requires torture and death then I’m not so sure.  Does God really ask that of all of us?  Ask us all to die?  I’m in the fog here.  I might be a Pastor, but I’ll be the last one to say I have all the answers.

         The more time I spend in this profession and the more Sundays I stand up here and try to have an answer about the Bible and God, the more I feel like Peter.  I hope when they write it all down, someone adds in a bit about me not knowing what I am saying.  If in the end I am as wrong as Peter sometimes is, I hope someone says, “that’s ok, she tried her best, she meant well.”

         All of life is like this with faith.  We are in that cloud with Jesus on the mountain and not really knowing what is going on.  Or we have a moment of clarity and then something knocks us off balance.  We have a plan for our lives and then illness or death or job loss, or something else knocks us off course and we are in the fog again.  We ask ourselves “who am I?” and “who is God?” and we may or may not find an answer.  It’s hard to set the mind on divine things when you are just human.

         I think perhaps the clearest line in this whole passage is where God speaks, “This is my son, listen to him!”  That’s pretty clear isn’t it?  This is Jesus, listen to what he says.  Don’t talk about him, don’t spend time with words yapping on about which atonement theory is correct or which church doctrine is true.  Don’t stand in a pulpit trying to tell everyone who Jesus is.  Stop talking!  Just listen!  This is my son, listen!  No talking necessary.

         But we like to talk, at least I do.  I love to talk about God.  But I should do more listening.  And so we are back to denying oneself.  Sit down, be quiet, and listen.  Maybe we shouldn’t talk when we don’t know what we are talking about.  Maybe we should just relax when we find ourselves in the fog.  We know God is there right?  We can be confident in that at least.  And if we listen we might even hear God’s voice like Peter did. 

         Jesus teaches us that life is found when we are able to release our grip on ourselves.  When we let ourselves go we can find ourselves as part of something greater than ourselves.  Stop trying to have all the answers and just listen.  Then maybe, together, we can confidently find our faith in the fog.  Amen.