Faith in the Fog

February 23^rd, 2020      “Faith in the Fog”     Rev. Heather Jepsen

Mark 8:27-9:8

         This morning our narrative lectionary readings continue in the Gospel of Mark.  In the church this is Transfiguration Sunday and today we find ourselves at the midpoint of Mark’s Gospel.  Up to now we have followed Jesus and his disciples throughout the countryside watching Jesus heal and listening to Jesus teach.  Today things shift.  Today Jesus turns his face toward Jerusalem as he begins to talk about his upcoming suffering and death.  This week we learn that Jesus has come to redefine what it is to be the Messiah.

         Most of the sections of today’s reading you are familiar with.  We begin with Peter’s famous declaration of faith.  Jesus walking with his disciples asks after his own reputation, “Who do people say that I am?”  Clearly he is someone special as he is compared to Elijah, John, or another prophet.  Then the test question, “Who do you say that I am?”  This time Peter has the correct answer “You are the Messiah.”

         Peter knows the right answer to the question, but he doesn’t know what this really means.  Jesus begins to teach him and the others that he will need to undergo great suffering, rejection, and death before this whole thing is over.  Peter is taken aback.  That’s not what he meant!  And he tells Jesus so.

         But Jesus will have none of it.  “Get behind me Satan!”  Poor Peter!  I’m sure these words cut him to the core.  As the kids in Henry’s 3^rd grade class would say “Oh, he burned you!  He burned you to the ground!”

         I love Peter here.  Trying so hard.  Trying to be a friend.  He knows what the right answer is and he is confident that “Jesus is the Messiah” but he doesn’t really know what it means to be the Messiah.  And how could he?  How can any of us really?  Jesus accuses Peter of setting his mind on human things and not divine things.  But how can Peter know divine things if he is human?  Can any of us know divine things?  Can any of us know what it is to be the Messiah?  I have my doubts.

         In the next section of our reading, Jesus calls to the crowds as well, and attempts to teach everybody about taking up their cross and losing their life to find it.  This is upside down talk.  Deny yourself to find yourself.  Take up the instrument of death in order to live.  Give everything up and gain it all.  Is it any wonder that people don’t understand?  “The kingdom of God will come in power before some here even taste death.”  What does that even mean?  Is the kingdom here?  All these guys died hundreds of years ago.  Like Peter, I’m confused.

         A whole week passes, which must be significant because Mark rarely records the passage of time.  A whole week passes and Jesus takes Peter, James, and John and they climb a mountain together.  While up there, Jesus begins to glow.  He is transfigured, he is changed, and he shines with the light of his true holiness and splendor.  As if that weren’t strange enough, Peter and the others see Moses and Elijah with Jesus, chatting like it’s any old thing. 

         Peter is in a daze, in a mental fog so to speak and offers to build a tent or two for this awesome party.  Even the gospel writer is embarrassed by Peter and adds in as an aside “He didn’t know what to say because he was so scared”.  And suddenly they are literally in the fog.  A cloud descends and a voice cries out “This is my Son, the Beloved; listen to him!”  And then it’s all over and I’m sure Peter didn’t know what to think, let alone what to say.

         I love these texts about Peter and Jesus because they are such a metaphor for our own life of faith.  So often, like Peter, we are forming our faith in a fog.  Like being on the mountaintop with Jesus, we have a glowing moment where we say “Yes, I see it!  I understand.”  We are confident about who God is and who we are in relationship to God.  And then immediately a cloud descends and we are lost in the fog again wondering if Jesus is even still up on the mountain with us.  Or like Peter, we know the right answer to the question, “Jesus is the Messiah!”  But we don’t really understand what being the Messiah means.  And when we find out about it, we aren’t so sure we want to be part of this after all.  Suffering and death, I didn’t sign up for that!

         The more time I spend in ministry, the more I notice that we like to talk in a code.  We use words like salvation, Bible, Jesus, God, and church and we really do not know what we mean.  Sure, we can expand on these ideas with more church talk but we really have a lot of trouble moving outside that realm.  Or we use the same words to mean different things.

         For example, this week there was a really great Independent Lens movie on PBS about the building of the Ark Experience in Kentucky by the “Answers in Genesis” Organization.  The people working on that project and I are all Christians, and we speak the same language, using the same words, but we don’t mean the same thing.  When I talk about the gospel and when they talk about the gospel we are talking about very different things.  We’re even reading the same book, but we are arriving at totally different conclusions.  Do you see what I mean about using the language but not knowing what we really mean, or using the same words to mean different things? 

         Another example can be found in our Sunday school class.  Right now we are studying Atonement.  What is Atonement?  What did Jesus do on the cross that “saves us”?  We are studying six different theological models that are all totally accepted by the Reformed Church and all have Biblical support.  So what are we talking about when we talk about Atonement?  I’m not sure.  I am confident that something special happened when Jesus died but I am not certain what exactly it was.  I can have faith in atonement without being completely settled on one atonement theory.  The church has been talking about Jesus for over 2000 years and we still have very diverse explanations, expectations, and claims about who Jesus is. 

         Peter thought he knew what he was talking about when he talked about Jesus as the Messiah.  But Jesus was talking about something else.  And Peter thought he knew what he was talking about when he tried to put up some shelters on the mountain and build a church, but that is not why they were there.  In many ways Peter was lost in the fog.  Not for like of trying.  I think just because he was human.  I’m not sure we can really know the divine things with certainty.

         When I read the Scriptures I always find Jesus trying to clear the path.  The way of salvation is this, “give up your life.”  I know it sounds backwards but this does make sense to me.  Move yourself out of the way, move yourself out of the center.  I understand this concept but I don’t want to take it literally, I don’t really want to die.  I will if I have to, but I don’t want to.  If discipleship is an act of faithful self-denial and displaced self-interest, I can do that.  If discipleship requires torture and death then I’m not so sure.  Does God really ask that of all of us?  Ask us all to die?  I’m in the fog here.  I might be a Pastor, but I’ll be the last one to say I have all the answers.

         The more time I spend in this profession and the more Sundays I stand up here and try to have an answer about the Bible and God, the more I feel like Peter.  I hope when they write it all down, someone adds in a bit about me not knowing what I am saying.  If in the end I am as wrong as Peter sometimes is, I hope someone says, “that’s ok, she tried her best, she meant well.”

         All of life is like this with faith.  We are in that cloud with Jesus on the mountain and not really knowing what is going on.  Or we have a moment of clarity and then something knocks us off balance.  We have a plan for our lives and then illness or death or job loss, or something else knocks us off course and we are in the fog again.  We ask ourselves “who am I?” and “who is God?” and we may or may not find an answer.  It’s hard to set the mind on divine things when you are just human.

         I think perhaps the clearest line in this whole passage is where God speaks, “This is my son, listen to him!”  That’s pretty clear isn’t it?  This is Jesus, listen to what he says.  Don’t talk about him, don’t spend time with words yapping on about which atonement theory is correct or which church doctrine is true.  Don’t stand in a pulpit trying to tell everyone who Jesus is.  Stop talking!  Just listen!  This is my son, listen!  No talking necessary.

         But we like to talk, at least I do.  I love to talk about God.  But I should do more listening.  And so we are back to denying oneself.  Sit down, be quiet, and listen.  Maybe we shouldn’t talk when we don’t know what we are talking about.  Maybe we should just relax when we find ourselves in the fog.  We know God is there right?  We can be confident in that at least.  And if we listen we might even hear God’s voice like Peter did. 

         Jesus teaches us that life is found when we are able to release our grip on ourselves.  When we let ourselves go we can find ourselves as part of something greater than ourselves.  Stop trying to have all the answers and just listen.  Then maybe, together, we can confidently find our faith in the fog.  Amen.

From the Heart

February 16^th, 2020    “From the Heart”    Rev. Heather Jepsen

Mark 7:1-23

This morning we continue our narrative lectionary with readings from the Gospel of Mark.  We have marveled at Jesus’ ability to heal people, to bring restoration to communities, to forgive sins, and to dispel fear.  We have also studied the ways that folks come to reject the message of the gospel.  This morning, Jesus’ conflict with the religious authorities escalates as he challenges traditional teachings of his faith.

At this point in our story the Pharisees and other religious leaders are keeping a close eye on Jesus and his followers and so they are quick to notice when the disciples don’t follow the traditional customs of cleanliness.  Before eating anything, Pharisees, and other good folks of Jewish faith, were always sure to wash their hands and other ritual items.  Unlike our modern understanding of washing so we don’t get sick, this was a washing based on tradition and religion.  It was not an act of morals but an act of religious liturgy; it was about making oneself holy or acceptable to God.  Jesus’ followers don’t appear to be following the customs of good religious people, so it is no wonder that the religious leaders are disturbed by their practice, or lack thereof.

         The Pharisees ask their question politely as they are genuinely curious as to why Jesus doesn’t follow the usual religious practice.  Jesus, on the other hand, shoots back a hostile response, accusing the Pharisees of a lack of faith.  Quoting from Isaiah, he implies that they do not really love God.  Jesus points out that often the religious leaders spend a lot of time talking about how much they love God, but that what happens in their hearts betrays them.  The church gets too busy being wrapped up in human things, like rules about washing, that the people forget the things of God.  Jesus calls everyone together to teach them this lesson; “There is nothing outside of a person that by going in can defile, but the things that come out are what defile.”

         Jesus’ teaching seems clear enough, but this isn’t a lesson people really want to hear.  In fact, as soon as he is alone with the disciples they ask him to explain the parable.  Did you catch that?  But, Jesus didn’t tell them a parable!  He told them a plain and simple lesson; it’s what is inside your heart that matters.  Again he is forced to explain.  What we eat, what goes inside of us goes to our stomach; our body processes it and we poop it out.  But what comes out of us, meaning out of our mouths and our actions, those things come from our hearts.  It is what lies within our hearts that matters, and those are the things that have the power to separate us from God and from each other.

         At first Jesus’ lesson to the Pharisees and to his disciples seems to be miles away from our lives today.  Who cares anymore about ritual washing?  And being clean and unclean are not really a part of our modern understanding of the world, unless of course we are talking about baths.  But, the reality is that the divisions Jesus is talking about are everywhere in our world and in our church.

         The question that the Pharisees are asking is what makes us righteous before God.  If it’s not ritual washing, then what is it?  Ritual purity helps the Pharisees access the sacred, so if we aren’t going to do that then what are we going to do?  We could reframe the questions for our own time by asking “what makes someone a good Christian?”  What do we have to do, how do we have to live, if we are going to be able to have access to God? 

At one point in the life of this church, being a good Christian meant that you didn’t dance.  Folks who dared to celebrate the joy of living by moving their bodies to music (even in the privacy of their own homes) were folks who were asked not to be a part of this church.  At another time in the life of this church being a good Christian meant that you didn’t play cards.  In the past life of this congregation, members who enjoyed card games at home were no longer suitable to be on the church’s Session. 

          Of course there are some churches where being a good Christian means you don’t drink alcohol.  In fact, I have gotten in trouble in churches for suggesting that members of the congregation might like to join me at a baseball game and enjoy a hotdog and a beer.  I’m not kidding.  Someone was so mad that I said that during the announcements that they left the church.  Good Christians don’t drink beer!  Or apparently even talk about it.

         So where are we on that spectrum today?  What is it that we are worried about when it comes to being good Christians or good people?  From silly things like dancing and card games, we can suddenly find ourselves treading other dividing lines.  Issues of sexism and racism are not far away in this discussion.  What is the role of a good Christian woman?  Does she work outside the home or does she stay at home to be a good mother for her kids?  What is the role of Fathers for that matter?  Or, how about gays and lesbians, can they take part in the life of the church?  What about the political divide.  Are good Christians Democrats who want social welfare programs or Republicans who want an end to abortion?  Where do you think the edge is in this congregation?  I guarantee we have one.  Where do we draw the line between us and other people?  For the Pharisees it was handwashing, what is it for us? 

         I have a feeling Jesus would enjoy the discussion about how we divide ourselves but he really doesn’t care what the answer is.  God doesn’t seem to care too much about the dividing lines that we draw at all.  That was the whole point of what Jesus was saying.  God doesn’t care if we follow the church rules or not, God is interested instead in what is coming from inside of us.  What comes out of our hearts and enters the world?  Do we choose to be one people, a humanity united in love of neighbor?  Or do we choose to divide ourselves into groups, declaring that some of us are better than others?

         I think the things that Jesus warns against are present in all of our lives.  That desire to judge, that desire to place people into categories, and that desire to spend all of our time worrying about other people so that we don’t have to worry about ourselves.  Those things are a part of each of us.  Jesus reminds us that it is what is within our own hearts that is sinful.  It is what is within our own hearts that divides us from each other and from our God.

         The list that Jesus offers is a scary one: sexual immorality, taking what does not belong to us, causing and ignoring the deaths of others, faithlessness, greed, pride, stubbornness, talking bad about others, deceiving others, ignoring our God.  Not only do we do these things, we often allow ourselves to do more than one of these things more than once a day.  Who are we to judge others when we carry these things within our own hearts?  It reminds me of Jesus’ other teaching about the speck in our neighbor’s eye.  It is a lot easier to see what is wrong with someone else than to face what is wrong within our own hearts.

         Henri Nouwen helps us understand this by opening our minds to discover that the heart is so much more than simply an organ pumping blood.  He writes, “The spiritual life has to do with the heart of existence.  I find the word ‘heart’ a good word.  I don’t mean by it the seat of our feelings as opposed to the seat of our thoughts.  By ‘heart’ I mean the center of our being, the ‘place; where we are most ourselves, where we are most human, where we are most real.  In that sense the heart is the focus of the spiritual life.”

         Nouwen is reminding us that the heart is the core of who we are.  And Jesus is telling us that from within our heart comes the evil that separates us from God.  I would remind us as well this morning that goodness comes from within our heart.  Along with Jesus’ list of evils, our hearts also contain the powers for love and joy, for care and concern, for humility and generosity, for grace.  While we may often feel that we make little difference in the world, we also know that one kind act can often make all the difference in the world.  The way we act in the world reveals the inner workings of our heart, and the inner workings of our hearts reveal our faith.

         And so we come up against the hard lesson that Jesus was teaching his followers and the Pharisees that day.  There isn’t anything we can do to make ourselves more presentable to God.  Life would be much easier if it was all about a checklist that we could work our way through.  If all we had to do was come to church each Sunday, dress nicely, bow our heads in prayer, and put money in the offering plate life would be easy.  But that is not what God wants from us.  Going through the ritual motions of faith is no different than dressing the part of a good person.  It will not get us anywhere in the long run, and it will not make us right with God.

         Jesus is challenging us to consider the deeper more difficult work of cleansing our hearts.  Are we motivated by a desire to be good, or are we motivated by genuine love of neighbor?  Are we doing what we think we are supposed to do, or are we doing what the love inside our hearts leads us to do in our world?  Are we simply following the rules, or are we following the guidance of a heart of faith? 

         I don’t know what is inside your heart this morning, but I know what is inside my own.  While there is faith and love of God, I am also well aware of my own ease at judging others or in acting selfishly.  Judgy Mc Judge Face right here.  We all have areas that could use work and we all have areas where we need to grow.  This morning’s scripture reading reminds us that nobody is perfect, even those people who seem to follow all the rules.

         I believe this morning that we are called to thank God for the grace that enables us to follow Jesus despite our sinful hearts.  And to thank God for the love of God that helps us continually grow into better people.  May we live each and every day better than the one before.  Amen.